Safe At Last

I took down my Rebel flag (which you can’t buy on EBAY any more) & peeled the NRA sticker off my front window.

I disconnected my home alarm system & quit the candyass Neighborhood Watch.

I bought two Pakistani ☪ flags & put one at each corner of the front yard. Then I purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN buy on EBAY) & ran it up the flag pole.

Now the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service & other agencies are all watching my house 24/7. I’ve NEVER felt safer & I’m saving $69.95 a month that ADT used to charge me.

Plus, I bought burkas for my wife & me to wear when we shop or travel. Everyone moves out of the way & security can’t pat us down.  If they say I'm a male wearing a burka, I just say I'm feeling like a woman today.

Safe at last