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Newspaper Recommendations

1629, 20 Jun 2016

For those of us who are not sure to which newspaper we should subscribe, Dick Pedersen has this list of criteria/qualifications:

1.  The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the  country.

2.  The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the  country.

3.  The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the  country, and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4.  USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but  don't really understand The New York Times.

5.  The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind  running the country, if they could find the time and if they didn't  have to leave Southern California to do it.

6.  The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the  country.

7.  The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's  running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a  seat on the train.

8.  The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running the  country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably  while intoxicated.

9.  The Chicago Tribune is read by people that are in prison that used to run  the state, & would like to do so again, as would their  constituents that are currently free on bail.

10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are  running another country, but need the baseball scores.

11.  The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if there is  a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all  that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the  leaders are gay, handicapped, minority, feminist, atheists, and those  who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or  galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.

12. The National Enquirer is read by people  trapped in line at the grocery store.

13.  The Seattle Times is read by people who have recently caught a fish and  need something to wrap it in.

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